Order of Interbeing member Lisa November shares how she actively engages with Thầy’s teachings to respond to suffering.
By Lisa November on
What does it mean to be a Buddhist? Is that different from saying, “I follow the path of the Buddha”? In Western thought, we like to have neat little compartments; a couple of them could be labeled -ist, -ian, and -ism.
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Order of Interbeing member Lisa November shares how she actively engages with Thầy’s teachings to respond to suffering.
By Lisa November on
What does it mean to be a Buddhist? Is that different from saying, “I follow the path of the Buddha”? In Western thought, we like to have neat little compartments; a couple of them could be labeled -ist, -ian, and -ism. When someone we are getting to know uses a word with one of these endings, or a similar ending, our brains tell us, “Oh, she is just like me,” or, “They are nothing like me.” We are using our perceptions and that can be helpful, but it can be not so helpful as well, or downright harmful.
So, why does this all matter and what does it mean to follow the path of the Buddha? That has been rolling around in my brain and heart since Brother Pháp Dung spoke those words in our Dharma sharing group at the Earth, Our True Nature Retreat in Estes Park, Colorado, US.
I returned home with a new beginner’s mind. How do I describe myself and how do I preview others based on their words and actions? Well, I know I want to increase my own sense of inner mindfulness in order to find a deeper peace as I move through the ages of my life. Now, how do I do that and embody “following the path of the Buddha”? Little did I know upon returning home that I was about to get a chance to really practice following the path.
Two days after the retreat ended, I headed to San Francisco to kitty-sit my daughter’s cat, Marble, while she was out of town for a week. I had been to San Francisco many times visiting her and thought I knew the city well and could navigate on the public transit system just fine. The first day went off without a hitch—taking BART and city buses, even an iconic cable car, to get to her place. After getting reacquainted with Marble (you know how cats can be) and settling in, I was out the first morning taking the buses to Land’s End, a new spot to explore. It was so beautiful and really amazing! I walked and sat for hours. I was so tuned into nature and the marine layer, the fog horns, the surf, and the trees. It was glorious. I lingered for hours and just knew I was experiencing Earth, my true nature. Thank you, Thầy. Thank you, Brother Pháp Dung. I am following the path of the Buddha.
Eventually, I had to return to the apartment and I had walked a long way, so I took some different bus routes to get back. The two particular buses I took were packed with teenagers, grandmas and grandchildren, working folks and people experiencing homelessness, just to mention a few. I started to feel uncomfortable and wished I had a mask to put over my mouth and nose. The teens were boisterous and very loud, a baby started to cry, a man wouldn’t stop staring at me. Mentally and emotionally, I left. I wasn’t present. I got off the bus and quickly transferred to another one that was a little less crowded. The whole trip took about forty minutes, but it seemed like forty hours. When I got off the last bus and was walking on the street, I reached in my pack for my phone and it was there, but my pack felt so light. Upon closer inspection, my wallet was gone. I called my wife and explained the situation to her, which immediately calmed me down a bit. She googled what to do when you’ve lost your wallet and I went to the local police station to report it.
Returning to the safe haven of the apartment, I felt some anger, but what I felt more was fear. Fear and frustration were present. “It was probably one of those loud teens, maybe the man that was staring at me, probably someone on drugs.” My mind was racing through these thoughts. Then the emails started: a $105 charge at Walgreens, a $100 charge for a Clipper card, etc. How could this person have done this to me? Whoever you are, you are a horrible person, I thought. You stole something that I need every day. You must be bad. I sat and I walked in circles. I pulled out my journal just to get some of this out and saw the words, “I walk the path of the Buddha.”
Pause. Full stop. How do I walk the path of the Buddha through this suffering? I much prefer walking the path at Land’s End, among the trees and the fog, but now I am in another type of fog. How do I make my way through this with mindfulness and compassion?
I returned to the teaching of Thầy’s, remembering that the Buddha is with me at this moment. Mindful breathing, walking, and writing will help calm me. Fear is still coming up. Frustration is still there. Breathe with it. Hold it with mindfulness. Look around. Do I have everything I need? I have water. I have food. I have my daughter’s warm and inviting apartment. I have a loving spouse and friends helping me. I even have compassionate and kind customer service reps helping me! I am safe. I will get a new ID and I will get a new credit card. I am breathing with more ease, more space now.
Then my thoughts turned to the person that took my wallet. Do they have everything they need? Do they have a comfortable apartment, food, and water? How would I know this? I couldn’t know this. Time to dial back my initial judgments of this person I will never know. Maybe their baby needed diapers or formula and that is what they tried to buy at Walgreens. Maybe they needed a Clipper card to take the BART to visit their mother or get to their job. Isn’t that just like any other motivating reason to take what doesn’t belong to you?
Of course, these questions can’t be answered, and they don’t need to be answered. What these questions do is cause compassion for this person to be born in my heart and mind. Desperate people sometimes take desperate actions. A small lotus blooms in my heart. The next morning, I took a bus to the Presidio and walked among the tall, elegant eucalyptus trees. I walked mindfully and found a little more ease in my heart by offering mettā to myself. Then on the bus ride back home, I practiced mettā for people on the bus with me.
May we be peaceful, happy, and light in body and spirit.
May we be safe and free from injury.
May we be free from anger afflictions, fear, and anxiety.
May we look at ourselves with the eyes of understanding and love.
May we recognize the seeds of joy and happiness in ourselves.
May we live fresh, solid, and free.*
This is how I will walk the path of the Buddha.
*Based on Thích Nhất Hạnh’s translation of the Mettā Sutta in Teachings on Love published by Parallax Press.
