By Carol Cheong

I was a little apprehensive to walk alone at 5:30 a.m. on the still dark roads from Middle Hamlet to Lower Hamlet. I switched on my torch, wrapped my scarf around my neck, and started walking towards the sounds of the big bell. I live in Singapore, a small modern city where almost every pathway is lit up for our convenience from night to early morning. Walking in the dark and in nature is a rare experience for me. I hoped to find a companion or two to walk with me, but weirdly, no one was in sight ahead of me that particular morning. 

As I walked towards Lower Hamlet, the smell of nature and fresh air comforted me. I opened my palms to take in all the fresh prana, knowing that this was a luxurious moment for a city woman from Singapore. Minutes later, I strolled into a canopy of tall trees. The leaves rustled in the soft morning breeze with the distant sounds of the big bell, still echoing in the background. A deep comforting silence grounded me with tenderness, and I felt very safe and calm, embraced by nature all around me. I could hear every leaf over me, and I felt a surge of bliss in my body. I could not help but smile in contentment. 

Visiting Plum Village for the first time to attend the business retreat made me redefine space. This space I felt transcended the physical space I was in. There was so much space in the meditation hall, garden, and woods, but more importantly, my mind felt so much space that I allowed nature’s beauty, people’s smiles, and monastics’ joy to fill my soul. The greens around me nourished both my eyes and my heart. My walls of judgements and self-centeredness started to melt, and I began to feel the deeper meaning of interbeing. 

At the retreat, I was a little concerned I might not experience the full Plum Village practice, due to the focus on stress relief for managers and CEOs. To my pleasant surprise, no one talked about business. Many people shared that their work life had taken a toll on their health and relationships, and that they had come to a crossroads where they needed to look deeper into the meaning of life. I learned much from their sharing. Many had an awakening experience in the mindfulness practice. The men in my retreat family were open to sharing deeper emotions in Dharma sharing. They had a clear understanding that to heal, they needed to recognise and accept their sufferings; and this practice made them even stronger men. I believe I was touched because I practised deep listening. For the first time, I listened to people wholeheartedly with no judgements, not suggesting solutions to their problems and not thinking of what to say next. With the introduction of this practice, I realised that I had not been listening deeply to my family, close friends, or colleagues. This practice was more challenging when you think you know someone well and assume they are the same person you knew years ago. 

I also discovered that practising deep listening touches other people’s hearts. Many times, what some felt was not prevalent in what they said. By being completely in the here and now as someone spoke, I felt their deep sufferings or pure joy. This mindfulness practice is very profound as I learn how to listen again after all these years. It helps keep my ego in check and connect with other people at a much deeper level, regardless of the time I have known them. 

When I practise deep listening, I am also aware of my breath so that I do not allow my mind to get distracted or attached to an opinion or wrong perceptions. When we practise deep listening in the office or in our family, the people we are listening to can touch their own deeper emotions as they speak freely, trustingly, and openly. Deep listening can open a door for someone to look deeper and begin healing if they are suffering. I will continue to respect and be mindful of my breath and my mind as I open myself to listen when another being speaks. 

Thank you Thay, Sangha, and family for this wonderful practice that brings people together to love selflessly. 

Carol Cheong, Loving Grace of the Heart, has been a pilates, yoga, and dance instructor for almost twenty years. She conducts yoga and mindfulness retreats in Bali, Chiang Mai, and Bhutan, and initiated an elective course (Pilates and Yoga) at a university in Singapore.